Underappreciated Horror: Dead Alive

"I got the vibes! This thing is evil mon! I got the vibes!"

So begins this under-appreciated horror movie, Dead Alive. Usually to be found in the bargain bins of video stores (when we had them), this unassuming little film often finds its way onto lists of bad movies - and in this case I don't think it really deserves it. From the Indiana Jones-like opening scenes we find ourselves on a ride both interesting and humorous. Before you're even 5 minutes into the film you get mutilation, decapitation, and you might learn something interesting about New Zealand zoo officials (they are a dedicated lot).

Director: Peter Jackson
Cast: Timothy Balme, Diana Penalver, Elizabeth Moody, Ian Watkin, Benda Kendall, Stuart Devenie, Jed Brophy, Stephen Papps, Murray Kean

The movie opens with two men carrying a bamboo cage through some natural rock formations. They're in a hurry. It seems close on their heels are a bunch of pissed off villagers who don't want them leaving with the critter in the cage. We don't see what's inside the cage, but somehow it bites the "zoo official". The other guys stop the car and begin to hack off his limbs - it must be the cure for the bite. Unfortunately he also has a scratch on his forehead (I don't think I have to tell you where this is "heading"). The cage arrives at the airport without the zoo keeper, and somehow gets loaded and sent off to its destination (New Zealand? Who knows.)

Bruce Campbell fans may note similarities between this movie and the Evil Dead movies.

Now we go to a little Rumanian immigrants shop/grocery store/home on the mainland (Australia? New Zealand?). An old gypsy woman is doing a tarot reading for her daughter, who is looking for love. This happens to be a setup for what happens down the line so good viewers will pay attention. What follows is a great sequence of scenes up to where "Lionel" returns to his uber creepy home and messed up home life.

Lionel had stopped by the shop for groceries for him and his mother. He manages to leave a note with the list with the girl at the store (who now believe Lionel is her "one and only true love" or something like that). But she freaks him out, he leaves, and that gives her a reason to deliver is order to his home. Later she does just that and manages to get geeky Lionel (Timothy Balme) to ask her (Paquita Maria Sanchez, played by Diana Penalver) on a date to go to the local zoo.

Yes. That's right. Date at the ZOO.

Mum oversees what's going on out in the yard and won't have none of it. She decides to follow them on their date. Nice mum, eh? Nice for a PSYCHO anyway, I suppose.

Zoo has a new exhibit. Next to the monkeys (who strangely don't throw poo, but throw apple cores instead) is the Sumatran Monkey Rat. The monkey rat is not a bad example of stop motion and looks pretty cool for this type of movie. We also learn a little more about the Sumatran Monkey Rat.

(as told by Captain Smelly, New Zealand Zoo Caretaker)

Yes kiddees, that little monkey rat comes from only 1 island in the world, near the coast of Sumatra, from a jungle that was near an old slavers sea port. It seems over the years of slavery this port got the worst of the worst ships and specialized in refitting and salvage. Well, one time they got a really nasty ship in and when they started breaking it up the biggest nastiest, foulest smelling and horniest rats they ever saw came tumbling out of the hold like some kind rotten, black furry plague. They freaked out the whole town, who managed to chase these big stinking, smelly, foul disease ridden horny buggers into the jungle where they raped the shit out of all the cute little tree monkeys.

Well, uber helicopter psycho mom "Vera" is skulking about and manages to get herself bitten by the poor, misunderstood (and hungry) Sumatran monkey rat. She also does a number on the rat. After witnessing this scene you may also be asking yourself which one is more viscious - mum or monkey rat? Honestly, it was a toss up to me. Well, Lionel takes mum home to care for her and lo and behold, Paquito shows up later that night and climbs in his window to "take care" of him. Things aren't looking too bad for Lionel, right?

Morning comes and Mum isn't looking too hot. She's got a puckering, spurting pustule on her arm. Worse, today is her meeting with the "WLWL", whatever they are, who she had invited to her home for dinner tonight. She decides to do it - in fact nothing will stop her, even when her skin starts peeling off.

The dinner scene is absolutely perfect. Be prepared to flinch at the dreaded pudding scene. This sequence lights the fuse for the movie and it takes off. And you may also learn something I did not now about New Zeeland nurses - they have Pez dispenser heads!

After the dinner scene Mum goes nuclear, Paquita visits and brings her dog.

Mum eats dog. Mum attacks Paquita. Mum gets killed by accident. A nurse is brought in. Mum turns undead. Mum kills nurse. Lionel hides undead nurse and undead Mum in the basement. Lionel visits a local Nazi veterinarian who sells him a bottle of tranquilizers. Lionel sedates the undead females. All under control.

But Mum escapes and tracks him across town to Paquita's grocery store and accosts them there. Undead Mum staggering across town to take revenge upon the only other female her son has ever shown any interest in at all is amusing. In the meantime Lionel has met Paquita's tarot card reading mother and is given a special charm and told to keep it with him "always".

Mum arrives at store. Luckily, Lionel has a syringe of tranqs ready and manages to deliver them with no one seeing what he did. Apparently Mum has just died, or so the onlookers think.

Mums funeral happens next, naturally. Lionel skulks about at the church looking for a way to re-tranq Mum while the funeral is going on, before the last dose wears off. Does he succeed? The embalming room scene - again, this movie is a gem. (Look for the sandwich!)

At any rate the funeral takes place and Mum is buried. Of course Mum comes back, looking steadily worse. She encounters some hooligans and, well, the standard zombie breeding program takes place. Here is where we meet Kung Fu Catholic Priest.

The "Kung Fu" Catholic priest scene is a great example of the fact that even if you have a scene that's been done to death by other, better movies (in this case it would be the "running from the zombies" boilerplate) you don't have to make it boring and just like the rest. This scene works great. It's not so long the joke wears thin and it's unusual. When so many zombie movies are nothing but "run from the zombies" from beginning to end, directors and writers who throw things like this into the mix will have a much better chance of being remembered.

Obviously then, Lionel collects Mum, Kung Fu Priest, Nurse and a hooligan (just to round things out I guess) and takes them back home. He's still got his jar of tanquilizers and he makes them pudding (or scrambled eggs or something) and doses it up and serves it. Another excellent scene occurs, culminating with zombie Kung Fu priest putting the moves on zombie nurse. They do it. This is quite possibly the first movie to have a case of zombie sex (I may be wrong).

Of course when you have zombie sex you end up with zombie babies. Zombie rat eating babies.

All right I know what you're thinking now. A normal zombie baby pregnancy would last months and this zombie baby was born in hours. But let it go. It's just a movie.

An abusive pile of crud relative shows up and essentially bullies his way into the house. He throws a party. He doesn't know about the zombies in the basement. Paquita shows up, wanders into the basement and almost becomes zombie chow. Then the movie takes off in a big way, with almost a third of it left to play out.

There are a great many nasty, grisly scenes in this movie. In fact the last third of the movie has so many it could be called zombie porn to a certain extent. But that doesn't happen until well into the film and there are many bits and pieces of unusual content that keep you watching. Without those elements (especially the baby zombie element) there would be sections that might drag.

What you'll see in that last third? Super zombies high on "animal stimulants". Gut pile zombie. Ball kicking baby zombie. Zombie limb pile. Hide-and-seek grand champion. The infamous "lawn mower" scene. Something new to do with your food processor. Zombie sit-and-spin. Zombie baby being very naughty. The return of Mum.The return of Lionel to Mum.

This movie is truly under-appreciated. I've used  lot of words in this review and described a lot, but I left out a lot more. But this movie, due to gore content, is definitely not recommended for everyone.